5 Mindsets to Overcome Self-Doubt as First-Gens
You know that feeling when you finally hit a goal—and instead of celebrating, your brain immediately asks, What’s next?
For first-gen professionals, this is a special flavor of self-doubt. It pushes us to aim for more than our parents had, but it also leaves us with the constant feeling that we should be doing more—often at the cost of ignoring our own needs.
When we only focused on the end results, we train ourselves to believe that happiness and success exist somewhere else—in the next job, the next project, the next version of ourselves. This keeps us constantly searching.
But success and fulfillment doesn’t come from reaching the next goal—it’s found in how we move towards them.
So, let’s start looking in the right place, which is sometimes right in front of us. If you're tired of battling with doubt, here are five mindset shifts drawn from lessons with my first-gen clients, that can help you find peace on the way to your success.
1. You're Allowed to Change Your Mind
Many first-generation folks feel pressure to stick with their choices—whether it’s a career, a relationship, or a path they chose years ago. We’ve been taught that changing direction means we’ve wasted time or let someone down. But in reality, the ability to adapt is a sign of wisdom, not failure.
You might relate to this example: one of my clients found herself wrestling with guilt over leaving a stable job. She had worked so hard to get there, and stepping away felt like a betraying her future and her team. But when we realized that the reasons she joined the company years ago were no longer part of her daily experience, it helped her see that it was negligent to stay in a toxic environment. Rather than judging herself for not being “tough enough” and staying stuck in indecision, she was able to focus on building up her savings for the upcoming transition.
What might you allow yourself to explore if you let go of the fear of “wasting time”?
2. You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan to Get There
Did you know that the post-it note was an accidental creation? Nobody made a plan for it.
For many first-gens, change and uncertainty feels risky. We’re raised to keep the peace and avoid failure at all costs. But waiting for the "perfect" plan often keeps us stuck, leaving us only with choices that encourage us to live small.
Take my client, for instance—he was conflicted about starting a new relationship after a broken engagement. He kept putting it off, fearing he would make a “wrong” choice. Once we helped him reframe dating as a process of gathering information rather than making a permanent decision, he stopped feeling paralyzed. His dates also helped him articulate what he was looking for in love, which he struggled to describe before.
Instead of waiting for certainty, sometimes the clarity we’re looking for comes from action.
You’ve probably had an idea sitting in the back of your mind—something you’ve been meaning to start but keep putting off. What’s one small action you can take today that will inevitably move you closer?
3. Rest and Reflection Move You Forward
You’re not a machine; you weren’t designed to operate at the same level every day. Like nature and athletes, we need strategic rest. Pausing and slowing down isn’t a lack of progress—it’s what makes progress possible.
First-gens often struggle with rest because we’ve been taught to equate productivity with worth. But burnout doesn’t equal success.
One of my entrepreneur clients used to force herself to have an early morning routine because she thought that’s what successful people did. But in our coaching, she experimented with different rest and work schedules, helping her to discover her natural rhythm. With this awareness, it became easier for her to truly rest, which helped her feel energized and open to conversations that led to new clients.
Many of us struggle to recognize when we’re most energized because we’re so used to believing that grinding is the only way to succeed. Start to pay attention to when you feel most alive. Are you a morning thinker or a night strategist? Does deep work recharge you, or do you need collaboration to stay motivated?
4. Progress Is an Upward Spiral, Not a Straight Line
Many of us were raised to believe in the “American Dream” of linear success: if you study hard and work hard, you'll succeed. Even when systemic barriers are addressed, progress looks more like an upward spiral—full of repeated themes and unexpected lessons.
In fact, when you try to control all the variables, you miss out on surprising opportunities. When you stay open to change, you build up the self-trust that you're the capable person you've always been.
Not long ago, a client of mine was moving his family across the state, and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep up with the rising costs. While the move came sooner than he expected, it allowed him to rent his previous home. This became a practice ground for negotiation skills that he later applied to his own business, helping him confidently raise his fees and save up more for his family.
Sometimes setbacks are doorways to new opportunities. If you’re struggling with self-doubt, ask yourself: Am I judging myself too early in the process?
5. Take the Damn Credit—It Won’t Make You Less Humble
Adult children of immigrants are experts at downplaying their wins. We’re taught that humility is a virtue and that drawing attention to our accomplishments is self-indulgent. But the reality is, if we don’t recognize our own progress, we’ll always feel behind.
One client in a senior leadership position told me, “I feel like I should be further along.” But when we looked closer, they noticed that they had grown their network, built a reputation around their strengths, and took multiple bold steps outside their comfort zone. The issue? They wasn’t counting any of it, and it almost made her miss out on a promotion.
If you struggle with this, start paying attention to where you’re holding yourself back from taking credit. Try keeping a simple “wins” list, and practice being the first to tell yourself “great job!” It’s not about bragging—it’s about acknowledging your growth and noticing the ground you’ve gained along the way.
QUICK SUMMARY:
5 Mindset Shifts to Overcome Self-Doubt
You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind – It’s okay to pivot and adapt. Changing direction is a sign of wisdom, not failure.
You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan to Start – Don’t wait for certainty. Take action, even if it’s small, and clarity will follow.
Rest and Reflection Move You Forward – Rest isn’t wasted time. It’s essential for creativity and progress, so honor your natural rhythms.
Progress Is an Upward Spiral, Not a Straight Line – Embrace setbacks as opportunities to learn and build resilience.
Take the Damn Credit. It Won’t Make You Less Humble. – Acknowledge your wins. Celebrating your progress keeps you motivated and reminds you of how far you’ve come.
Success Isn’t a Destination—It’s How You Move Toward It
Fulfillment isn’t waiting for you at some finish line. It’s built in the moments between—in the way you honor your own process, trust your energy, and give yourself credit along the way. As first-gens, embracing these mindsets can sometimes feel like a challenge, given how we were raised. If you’re ready for a gentle space to untangle it all and discover a path that feels as joyful as it is successful, let’s connect.
Start feeling more in control of your journey today.
